I'm still here

No, I haven't suffered a beat down at the hands of the Joker. I'm still here and will return to my usual highly intelligent postings soon.

I hate ESPN

This is not a new concept. Many people have stated how much they hate ESPN. Today was the day I finally had enough.

We've had a on again off again relationship for a while but today was the end. If you are a dame and don't watch ESPN - my relationship with them is a little like Ross and Rachel with a bit of Joey thrown in. ( Sorry - I shouldn't call chicks dames... How about skirts?)

I bean to despise ESPN this year when they were doing a "best team ever" playoff with college football teams. Somehow they decided the 2005 USC Trojans were one of the best ever. Never mind the fact they would be sodomized my Vince Young and UT on national TV. Stupid.

Sportscenter hasn't been right since Keith and Craig left.

Chris Berman - "back back back" shut up! The stupid freakin nicknames were once funny - but now just stupid. More on this fat head in a minute.

Stuart Scott: Booya! So urban - so hip. So 1995. Dude your lazy eye is freakin me out. Somebody please smack him to make it stop!

They show crappy regional games instead of good national games ( mostly during college football)

All of their stupid sports-entertainment a talk shows. Except PTI that show rules!

Creating the TO mess. Stop being like FOX. Just report the news don't try to make it.

Lee Corso. nuff said my friends.

Rush Limbaugh

Allowing Michael Irvin to get anywhere near a microphone.

The final straw came today while watching the US Open. I had the misfortune of hearing Chris Berman's loud ass voice in a hushed format. The man has no business doing golf. He is the worst golf commentator ever. I was waiting for him to drop some lame stupid nick name on some guy. "Ohh will it be the Lady or the Tiger Woods" or some crap like that. I was waiting for a loud "WHOOP" when a putt lips out. He sucks!

I'm still very upset by this. I may have to take a day and recover before working on this blog anymore. Berman covering Golf? It just ain't right.

What is so intelligent?

What is so intelligent about Intelligent Design?

I've thought a lot about this topic... OK really I haven't given it much thought at all. Tonight something happened that really changed my perspective. Mrs. D-Dub was eating some chicken wings and started coughing.

Her sister patted her on the back and gave her a glass of water. What is with giving a choking person a glass of water? Would you give an drowning person a T-Bone?

The conversation began about why two pipes are so close to each other. My father in law said it must be a design flaw.

AH HA! A design flaw? Proof that Intelligent Design doesn't exist. Seriously how could something that simple be messed up if we had an intelligent design? Obviously we are victims of random evolution.

Goodbye Bruce

Goodbye Bruce it was fun. Bruce Dickinson, yes, the Bruce Dickinson is being retired. I'm returning to my screen name on the majority of places I visit: D-Dub.

I debated reviving Cool Hand but that doesn't have the same meaning it did a few years ago. It is hard to feel like Paul Newman driving around with a car seat in the back.

I returned to D-Dub for several reasons: it is easy for me to remember, and it is a lot easier to write than Bruce Dickinson. I also didn't want to confuse or upset the Iron Maiden fans - they aren't wusses like Bon Jovi fans.

Don't worry Michelle and Saur, I'll still be the Batman.

The Batman

Once again I am using something form Sweet n Saur for material on my own blog. I should pay them a fee... but I'm not going to.

There was some discussion on what super hero we would be according to our postings and on line personalities. I was tabbed "Batman". This was funny to me because Batman was and still is my favorite of all super heroes.

I've always liked him because he was one guy, alone, trying to make things right in the world. He has no special abilities other than determination and a sharp mind.

When I began teaching I found having determination and a reasonably sharp mind to be valuable tools. Also required was the ability to work alone and often times count only on yourself to get things done.

Some may scoff at the idea of describing yourself through a comic book character - but I'm a guy and we are all still little kids at heart.

Climb into your own way back machine. Remember when you were a kid. Who did you want to be when you grew up? Did you grow into the "ideal" person or did you become somebody else?

Did some of those traits you admired make it to your present day self?

Did you think you were Superman only to become the Green Arrow?

Did you think you were Malibu Barbie only to become Strawberry Shortcake?

Did you always want to be GI Joe and end up turning into Ken? ( Not that there's anything wrong with that)

This is a pretty good Super Hero personality test. My only complaint is that I keep coming back as the Flash instead of the Batman. The Falsh is pretty cool so I can live with it.

Freakin Love Bugs

I hate love bugs! The fact that love bugs exist disproves the validity of intelligent design. There is nothing intelligent about these windshield splattering, paint removing, swarming pieces of monkey poop. What function do they have other than to mate and keep Maaco in business?

My truck is covered with them. The front of my house has suffered from swarms for two days. My front porch and walkway looks like a massive bug grave yard.Supposedly they won't be back until the fall. Good riddance!

Have you noticed that love bug season is in synch with the snowbirds coming and leaving Florida? Interesting.

I don't know what I'm talking about!

I keep reading reviews and comments about the Da Vinci Code. Both the book and the movie have received a lot of attention. I'm not going to debate the" factual accuracy" of the "fictional" book. I'm not even going to point out if the religious groups wouldn't have made such a big deal about the book a few years ago I never would have read it.

What I find amusing is the people that speak as experts about the movie or the book without having seen or read it.

This extends well beyond this subject. Watch any news show and you will see "experts" that have no idea what they are talking about. Sure, Geraldo comes to mind... but there are others.

I'm going to call on you, my readers that number into the high single digits, to speak with authority on things you know nothing about!

No longer do you have to see a movie to review it:
FACT: Tom Hanks hair is terrible!

No longer do you have to watch a TV show to comment on it:
FACT: The writers of Lost and Desperate Housewives are now just making crap up to keep the show going.

You do not have to understand the Constitution to lead the country:
FACT: George W Bush ( sorry, I couldn't resist)

See how easy that is? All you have to do is add the word "FACT" and you instantly become an expert!Feel free to try it at your next family gathering or board meeting.